I have been telling myself for so long to be strong…. and i was on roll on that for few months i guess…. then comes the gloomy days…where nowdays i dun even knw who to trust anymore…even the ones who seem very close to us lie to you, cheat you, hide things from you….. unbelievable how people change so much and how much that changes hurt another person…! i had a friend who was very close to me when i was in grade nine….. or i thought she was….. even then she talked about me to other people…! well she would say i gossiped about them..! and somehow ruined the friendship tht i had with other people…..! then off she goes on a flight and doesnt show up for nearly 3 years….! i was missing her a lot….i wished she was here..! and sometimes when we talked we talked about our good old days of grade nine stories..! the fun we had for four months of school..! seems like i dont even know this girl completely for a year and there i was yearning for her presence…. how silly, how schwpuid..! aiyoooo…!
SHE comes back, and does her same old dirty lies….goes around to people and talk about me behind my back and is still friendly with me…….! i cant believe her.! then she becomes friends with another friend of mine completely forgets about me…. forget us…forget the memories…..its hurts when people forget…..
NO NO TRUST..! yea i couldnt trust her…..there she wa…going around acting all nice around me and being friendly….! and there was another side to her when she hid from me….a side that i knew very well of..! she lied to me for someone else…..she hid the truth for me…… she crushed my friendship for her…. the day she did i had no respect for her…. i may not have been with her during happy times…!but i was there everytime she had tears in her eyes…i was there every time she needed me …and YET all she CARED about was being with her new friend….
I lost too many things in life….i had very difficult time coping without them…..it was in every thought of mine….it was there in every happiness of mine…! and suddenly to have it broken hurt like the core..!
i was lost….i was helpless…! all people wanted to see was me smiling all the time..! oh cum’on i m HUMAN….and i cry sometime…and i have the right to not smile, yet they irritate me so much…!
sometimes i wanna go back home…sleep on the Terrace…and forget about everything…better yet… i wanna sleep on my grandma’s lap and talk non stop to her and bug her…. i dont want this pain of staying here…
i wanted to come back…buh i had these restrictions like a fence….and now that fence seems to be between you and me….[ it wont make sense to you, buh in my world it does] i m sorry reader
i am just ranting out my thoughts and feelings…because i dont want to break down…
i cried a lot today….i had no words to tell anyone how i feel..
the one who i want to listen, is not talking to me
the one i want to share with, is so far away..!
i just stayed quiet at some things today
NEVER GET ACCUSTOMED TO ANYONE, ANYTHING….. it hurts you so much when it leaves…
a lesson everyone learns in life….buh it is a lesson tht i have been going thru fr a long time
Another friend of mine was with me in my one of my fav.classes….! and yet today she decided to drop the class…
i had nothing but tears
i had no words to express
i just stayed quiet
bcos i know tmrw she will not be with me in my class tmrw…
so what now is the point i cry after she decided to leave?
life goes on……………
hopefully all will be fine !
all is well….
Thank you to all my readers who have been reading my words………….!